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Working Together to Answer Your Children’s Questions About Divorce

Posted on in Divorce

Kane County family law attorney divorce

Parents who are getting a divorce face many challenges when it comes to their children. Not only will they need to reach a resolution that protects their children’s interests, but they will also face the difficult responsibility of helping their children process the many changes and stresses that come along with the end of a marriage and family unit. Children of all ages are bound to have questions throughout the divorce process, and parents should be prepared to answer them to the best of their ability.

Common Questions Kids May Ask About Divorce

Regardless of whether or not there have been noticeable signs of conflict in your marriage, your children will likely be surprised and shocked when you tell them that you are getting a divorce. Every child will react differently to this news, but most will have questions either immediately or after they have some time to process their emotions and thoughts. Some of the most common questions include variations of the following:

  • Why are you getting a divorce?

  • Will you get back together?

  • Where will I live?

  • Will I still be able to see you?

  • Is it my fault?

These questions can be heartbreaking to hear and difficult to respond to, but your children will likely rely on you for reassurance. When you answer these questions, it is important to be honest and avoid giving false hope or making promises that you cannot keep. However, this does not mean that you have to give your children all of the details, especially if they reflect poorly on the other parent or they would be difficult for your child to understand due to their age or maturity level.

How Can Parents Present a United Front?

While it may not be possible if you and your spouse are involved in an embittered conflict, it is often beneficial to try to address your children’s questions about the divorce together. Sitting down as a whole family to talk about the divorce not only reinforces to your children that both parents will continue to love and support them, it also helps to ensure consistent messaging and avoid confusing your children or drawing them into back-and-forth conflict.

In addition to talking to your children together, you and your spouse should also try to work together to establish a parenting plan, including a parenting time schedule and the allocation of parental responsibilities. It is easier to answer your children’s questions about future living arrangements and other changes when you and your spouse are in agreement. Working together during the divorce process also often makes it more likely that you can continue to co-parent effectively for many years after your divorce.

Contact a Kane County Divorce Attorney

At the Law Offices of Benedict Schwarz, II PC, we strive to help our clients resolve their divorce peaceably and cooperatively, including through mediation and other methods of achieving an uncontested divorce, as doing so often leads to a better outcome for the children. For a free consultation with our distinguished St. Charles family lawyer, contact us today at 847-428-7725.

 

Sources:

https://www.parents.com/parenting/divorce/how-to-answer-kids-questions-about-divorce/

https://www.huffpost.com/entry/10-questions-kids-have-about-divorce-and-how-to-answer-them

https://www.ilga.gov/legislation/ilcs/ilcs5.asp?ActID=2086&ChapterID=59

https://www.ilga.gov/legislation/ilcs/fulltext.asp?DocName=075000050K602.7

 

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