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Three Tips for Cook County Parents Managing Holidays During Divorce

Posted on in Divorce

illinois divorce lawyerAs the major winter holidays come and go, many divorcing or recently divorced parents are bracing themselves for the challenges of reshaping their meaning and tradition. Spending time at home alone without children can feel lonely, especially when your extended family does not live nearby. 

People who have had many years after divorce to get used to the emotional and logistical challenges of dealing with the holidays have some advice for parents who are doing it for the first time. If you are getting a divorce this holiday season, read on. 

Consider the Holidays As You Create a Parenting Plan

Although many parents are tempted to use divorce as a cudgel to get revenge or rehash old complaints, the divorce will eventually end and life must go on. Divorcing couples who are unable to work with a long-term perspective will likely find it even more difficult to cooperate during the coming years as they continue to manage child-related issues together. During the divorce, consider what you want your relationship with your ex and your children to be like, and prioritize the fact that your children will be much better off with a parenting plan that allows for the maximum time spent with both parents - especially during the holidays. 

Allow Yourself to Feel Nostalgia

For many divorcing parents, holidays bring back memories of the best parts of their marriage: Happy children, fun plans, tender moments. It is normal to feel some nostalgia for those times and it does not mean that getting divorced was the wrong decision. Life is made up of good and bad times, and it is okay to view your past relationship with more complex emotions than resentment and sadness. Allow yourself to feel whatever emotions come up without judgment.

Strive for Mediation and Collaboration

Divorce can take many different paths. Some of those paths lead to continued hostility, but some, although challenging, can give parents a chance to get their needs heard and met. Divorcing couples are much more likely to both be satisfied with the terms of their parenting agreements and holiday arrangements if they work through cooperative methods such as mediation.

Rather than drawing out a hostile and expensive process, attorneys can help parents involved in mediation compromise and create a holiday schedule that makes sense. While you may not get to spend every minute of the holidays with your children, you can still have a predictable, sensible schedule that lets you spend important time with the ones you love most. 

Schedule an Initial Consultation with a Compassionate Barrington, IL Divorce Lawyer

At Law Offices of Benedict Schwarz, II P.C., we have helped many families navigate the challenges of divorce. Our experienced Cook County divorce attorneys know that reframing the holidays after divorce is difficult and emotionally burdensome for many people. That is why we will work hard to help you create a parenting arrangement that allows you to spend valuable time with your children during the holidays. To learn more, call our offices today at 847-428-7725 and schedule your confidential consultation. 

 

Sources: 

https://www.ilga.gov/legislation/ilcs/ilcs4.asp?DocName=075000050HPt%2E+IV&ActID=2086&ChapterID=59&SeqStart=3900000&SeqEnd=5400000 

https://www.nytimes.com/2021/10/28/well/family/holidays-after-divorce.html 

 

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