Divorce can be an emotionally and physically traumatic experience, regardless of the level of civility shared by the divorcing spouses. Still, the more contentious the relationship, the more draining the divorce process can be. 

For soon-to-be former couples who wish to avoid combative and costly courtroom divorce litigation, there are ways to keep divorce proceedings from becoming total warfare.

The divorce process can be a long, drawn-out affair if it is a contentious case. A lengthy divorce can drain both you and and your soon-to-be former spouse mentally, emotionally, and financially. 

In many situations, it is beneficial to use a mediator instead of litigating in court. Divorce mediation may take only a few collaborative sessions, and even the longer instances are usually much faster than court cases. 

In the days leading up to your first divorce mediation session, you may not know what to expect, and you may be nervous about what lies ahead. One way to quell your nerves is to learn more about what mediation is like and how you can proactively prepare for success.

Proper preparation may help you reduce the number of mediation sessions your case will require and make the process go more smoothly. Our office recommends planning in the following ways:

• Get your financial documents in order. Before your first mediation session, you should compile all financial documents that describe your income, assets, and debts. This documentation should be thoroughly organized, making it easy to locate relevant information during mediation. Also, creating a spreadsheet or index of these documents is extremely helpful during the course of mediation.
• Plan a budget. Closely related to the step above, it is also important for you to create a budget for your divorced life, describing your income and expenses and what financial resources will be required to meet your family’s needs. Be sure to include expenses for children, medical insurance and related costs, housing, and transportation. 
• Prioritize your desires and concerns. It is important to think about what you want your life after your divorce to look like. Are there certain marital assets that you want to keep? What do you want to see happen with cars or houses? How do you expect child custody and child support to be handled? You need to determine what areas you feel strongly about and what areas you will compromise on. It often helps to write these thoughts and ideas down on paper and be prepared to discuss them rationally during mediation.
• Get your emotions under control. A mediation session is not the place to rehash fights or past hurtful events. It is a time to handle the legal terms of your divorce. Some couples find it helpful to go to counseling before and after mediation sessions, so that they can address the emotions that often come up when dissolving a marriage.  

Find a Kane County Divorce Mediator You Can Trust

Another way you can ease your nerves is by hiring a mediator that you feel confident can help you address your legal issues and help you reach a satisfactory resolution. Our firm’s mediators are trained, certified, and have decades of mediation experience.