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St. Charles family law attorneyMany divorcing couples consider the option of mediation to help them resolve the issues at hand. Mediation can be beneficial for many reasons, including its general affordability, efficiency, and privacy in comparison to a divorce trial. However, if you are feeling frustrated or hurt by your spouse, the thought of meeting with them for mediation may be unpleasant. It is important to understand how the mediation process works so that you can decide whether it is something you are comfortable with.

The Traditional Mediation Process in Illinois

Traditionally, divorce mediation involves scheduled sessions during which the spouses will meet at a neutral site, with a neutral mediator guiding negotiations to help them find common ground and reach an agreement. This means that for at least part of the process, you will likely be speaking with your spouse face-to-face. However, you may ask to speak with the mediator privately if you have something to say that you would prefer your spouse not to hear. You can also request to have your own attorney present for mediation so that you have someone who can help you protect your interests. Even if you and your spouse are prone to conflict on your own, the structure of mediation may be able to help you civilly resolve your differences.

The Virtual Mediation Alternative

With recent improvements in communication technology, and especially in the wake of the COVID-19 pandemic, virtual mediation has become a more popular alternative to the traditional face-to-face process. During virtual divorce mediation, you, your spouse, and the mediator will likely be speaking directly to each other at the same time, but you will not have to be in the same location. This can not only create an additional buffer between you and your spouse, it can also fit more conveniently into your schedule and allow you to be in a place of comfort while it happens.

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Kane County family law attorneysDivorce does not have to be the difficult process that you once thought it would be. You and your spouse can avoid costly battles in court and come to an amicable settlement through mediation. Negotiating with your soon-to-be ex-spouse can be challenging, especially if child-related issues are involved. It is important to arrive at your mediation meetings with the right frame of mind. Even with an experienced mediator, it is your responsibility to listen deeply, communicate your needs, and find a compromise. If you are feeling nervous at all, remember that the benefits of mediation go far beyond cost savings, and you have a better chance of maintaining a peaceful relationship with your ex-spouse once the divorce is final. A qualified divorce attorney can help you achieve this goal.

Listen Attentively and Be Courteous

Mediation is about compromise, so that means more than just stating your terms and hoping your spouse will agree to them. Depending on the circumstances, your spouse may attempt to push you to bend to his or her terms. You might also find yourself judging your spouse or focusing on your assumptions, but you will never be able to develop a solution that works for both of you if you do not stay present and respectful. Hopefully, your attentiveness will foster a comparable frame of mind in your spouse and that the mediation will go move forward smoothly.

Do Not Dwell on the Past; Build a Positive Future

Divorce and the painful experiences that lead to it are uncomfortable, but if you are trapped in those emotions, you might run into many pitfalls during your mediation. If this is the case, you will have a difficult time building a future that you can enjoy. Imagine the future that is best for you, your spouse, and your children, and cooperate with your spouse to determine the changes that will lead to that positive outcome.

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