The decision to get divorced is often one of the hardest choices a person can make. Besides the divorce process itself, it is also difficult to make the announcement to all your family, friends, coworkers, and others. Although a divorce is painful for everyone involved, it is helpful for both parties to be on the same page when delivering the news. You and your spouse shared a community of mutual friends and some might not know how to react. 

Describe Your Divorce in Simple Terms

Not only will you have to tell people about your divorce, but once they start talking, you will get a lot of questions about your divorce as well. Come up with a brief description of your divorce, around one to three sentences. This will help steer the follow-up questions so you and they feel comfortable.

While it is well-known divorce can affect your mental and emotional well-being, one aspect of divorce often ignored is the potential effect it can have on your body. Maintaining good health in all aspects of your life is important for your overall happiness and ability to move on after divorce. Visiting your doctor for a checkup and making your physical health a priority can serve as a benefit as you go through the strenuous divorce process. 

A study by Duke University examined the effects of divorce on the heart health of women, and the results point to an increased risk of heart attack for divorced females. 

Divorce changes the lives of everyone involved for quite some time because it is such a serious and emotional decision to make. There have been long-held suspicions that the time of year may influence the divorce rate, because of the different types of outside influences present. A study by the University of Washington was able to identify the peak times of year for divorce with quantifiable data. 

When are Divorce Rates Highest?

The study used a data set including filings for divorce in the state of Washington for a 14-year period from 2001 to 2015. Using those numbers, they plotted a graph which showed two major peaks. One peak was in March and the other was in August. Between March and August is a fairly high plateau and after August there is a steep drop-off. The graph also shows the rates increase steadily from January to March. 

Most parents understandably worry about their children’s reaction to learning about their impending divorce. Divorce means unavoidable upheaval in the lives of everyone involved. Telling your children about your divorce is not something that should be done haphazardly. You should carefully plan and discuss how the conversation will happen with your spouse. If you follow a few simple tips, it can make the process easier on you and them. 

Do Not Play the Blame Game

If your divorce is especially contentious, it may be tempting to speak poorly of your soon-to-be ex-spouse and blame the dissolution of the marriage entirely on them. The children do not need to hear that, no matter how much you believe it to be true. Presenting a united front will help the children adjust more quickly to divorce. They can see both their parents being mature and handling the separation as well as possible. It also lessens the likelihood of them feeling they are the reason for the divorce or that they must side with one parent or the other. 

The oft-quoted statistic about 50 percent of marriages ending in divorce is incorrect and has been for some time now. Divorce rates have declined since the 1980s and it is now estimated your chances of divorce are at about 39 percent. Even though this seems like good news, it is not necessarily an indication that the number of people living happily ever after with their spouse has increased. 

Much of the drop in the divorce rate is due to the generation known as millennials, who are less likely to get divorced. A recent study said millennials were 18 percent less likely to divorce than young married couples in 2008. There are numerous potential reasons behind this shift.

Many people are searching for someone to marry and live with for the rest of their life. During that search, it is possible to become disillusioned and negative about whether you will ever find someone to be your spouse. If that happens, it can be easier to miss some warning signs that your relationship is not healthy and may be abusive. 

If you are unhappy in your relationship, consider these signs as they relate to your significant other to make sure they are the right one for you and they are not emotionally or physically abusive. If you are married and determine your spouse is abusive, it may be time to begin the divorce process. 

If you are going through a divorce and have children, there are many aspects which need to be worked out. Once the divorce process is complete, you and your ex-spouse will have to come up with a co-parenting plan for your children. 

Scheduling information, aspects of how you intend to raise your children, and communication about what happens in your child’s daily life are all important elements to consider as co-parents. Once you are divorced, it can become more difficult to do everything you need for your child, so a good co-parenting plan with your ex-spouse is critical to ensure they are raised the way you both would like. 

Divorce can happen to couples at any age, whether they are young or old, and no matter how long they have been together. There is a growing trend in divorce in which older couples split even when they have been married for a long time. 

If a couple divorces and they are over 50 years old, it is commonly known as a “gray divorce.” Gray divorces bring their own unique challenges, and learning about those potential obstacles before you are in the middle of divorce proceedings will help you in your own case and in life afterward. 

When couples decide to get married, they may have a prenuptial agreement prepared before the wedding. A prenuptial agreement (prenup) goes over how a couple will divide their assets and handle other matters if they were to get a divorce. 

Marriage trends in society constantly change over time. A shift in gender roles, lifespan, and expectations of marriage have led to an increase in the prevalence of prenups with the millennial generation. 

Many people who are not happy in their marriage feel divorce is the right option for them. The divorce process often takes a lot of work, and mistakes happen from time to time as you go through a divorce case. It is important to limit those mistakes whenever possible, for your personal well-being.

Here are some frequent divorce mistakes to avert: 

When two people get married, they pledge to spend the rest of their lives together. Sometimes it does not work out that way, and they want to get a divorce. Couples who enter into divorce proceedings may worry they will be left with nothing. If that is a concern you have prior to getting married, it may be beneficial to craft a prenuptial agreement.

The need for a prenup can vary depending on the couple and the state in which you live. Illinois law divides property equitably, which does not necessarily mean equally. Equitable division of property looks at numerous factors to determine what is fair to both parties. A prenup can be used as one of the factors which determines how the court will divide property and debts during a divorce in Illinois.

Each couple’s situation is different, so it is a good idea to take stock of your finances if you are considering a prenup agreement. You will need that information for the agreement anyway, and it can be a helpful exercise to fully understand the breadth of your financial situation.

A marriage is a partnership and a pact between two people to share in each other’s lives and feelings. It is normal for married couples to have disagreements with each other, but there are a few behaviors which make it much more likely that a marriage will end in divorce. Exhibiting all of these behaviors is not necessarily a bad thing, as long as they do not happen with such great frequency that they are overruling the positive elements of a marriage. 

What Are the Behaviors?

The four behaviors are as follows:

• Contempt - In this context, contempt means that one partner thinks that they are smarter or better than the other person. When a person feels contempt towards their partner, they are typically not being receptive to how the other person is feeling, which leads to the other person feeling like they are not heard or are being put down. 
• Criticism - Criticism is similar to contempt in that it can make little things turn into big arguments. Constantly criticizing the way your partner does something or the way they dress or look and not addressing issues in a constructive way can lead to increased feelings of resentment. 
• Defensiveness - This behavior is characterized by one spouse constantly stating that it was not their fault if something goes wrong or acting as if they are a victim. In many cases, it is better for spouses to take all the details of a situation into account and think about what they could have done better. 
• Stonewalling - If an argument is about to happen, and one partner abruptly decides that they are not going to talk about the issue, this can lead to further issues down the road. Not being able to discuss problems and air grievances with each other may lead to couples staying mad at each other longer than they would have if each person had explained their reasoning. 

The repeated and constant occurrence of one or a combination of these problems can lead to an increased likelihood for a couple to divorce. Overall, a constant theme throughout these behaviors is a lack of proper communication and empathy. Making sure to explain problems in a thoughtful way and talking through each person’s viewpoint can help relieve many problems in a marriage. 

Going through a divorce can be a trying and emotionally draining time for anyone. Dealing with the logistics of a separation, from the division of assets to the allocation of parental responsibility, can represent unprecedented challenges. In many cases, those going through the divorce process can struggle with substance abuse, mental fatigue, and complete emotional exhaustion. 

While divorce represents a difficult challenge in anyone’s life, there are ways in which you can limit the emotional toll on you and your family. With that in mind, here are four helpful tips that can help you and your family cope during the divorce process. 

Self-Care Tips During Divorce 

As you work to separate your life from your ex-spouse, emotions are constantly fluctuating, and there are no shortages of unavoidable challenges. Still, there are some simple tactics that can help limit the emotional hardships you and your family face during a divorce: