After an emotionally challenging divorce, the idea of finding a new partner can give you hope for a happier future. However, entering into a new relationship, and especially getting remarried, is a major decision that you should not take lightly, as it will significantly impact you, your children, your ex-spouse, your new partner, and his or her family. With a thoughtful approach, you can put yourself in a better position for a happy and healthy second marriage.

Suggestions for a Successful Second Marriage

As you consider beginning a new romantic relationship after your divorce, here are some suggestions that can help you keep your priorities straight:

According to the Domestic Violence Intervention Hotline, domestic violence, which is also called intimate partner violence (IPV), domestic abuse, or relationship abuse, is a pattern of behaviors used by one partner to maintain power and control over another partner in an intimate relationship. Unfortunately, domestic violence is something that affects many married couples worldwide. Although many often correlate domestic violence with physical violence (hitting, punching, slapping, and more), it can take many other forms, such as psychological and emotional abuse. Both forms of abuse can impact the overall well-being of a partner, which can lead a spouse to file for divorce.  

Warning Signs of Emotional Abuse

Some partners might not even recognize that domestic abuse is occurring because there are no physical injuries present to make it apparent. However, the mental and emotional abuse can take a detrimental toll on the body, and feelings worthlessness and hopelessness can quickly arise. Repeated emotional blows, berating, humiliating, and controlling behavior are just a few examples of this abuse in play, as shown below: 

Adoption can be a wonderful way of expanding your family. Some people may legally adopt a child who is related to them or they may choose to adopt someone unrelated to them, either domestically or internationally. Through a legal process, a person who is 18 or older can become the legal parent of an individual who is not his or her biological child. There are several types of adoption in Illinois. Related adoption occurs when at least one of the adoptive parents is related to the child who is being adopted. For example, the adoptee can be a niece or a nephew, or it can be a stepchild in a second marriage. Although this kind of adoption is typically not as complex, there are still procedures you must follow. An experienced family law attorney can help you successfully navigate this life-changing endeavor. 

Steps to Becoming a Family Unit

Besides organizing the necessary paperwork and forms that adoptive parents must submit, they should also make sure their homes are in order before their child arrives. In addition, soon-to-be parents must prepare themselves emotionally and mentally. If a couple has other children, there will be a period of adjustment for them as well. 

Here are a few practical ways that prospective parents and siblings can help make the adoption transition easier:

Entering into marriage is typically considered a lifelong commitment. However, not all couples stay together “‘til death do us part.” Statistics show that between 40 and 50 percent of all U.S. marriages end in divorce. That is why some partners decide to do a civil union instead of getting married. In either situation, there are two legally binding options to protect their interests. A prenuptial agreement is a legal document that specifies ahead of time how certain marital issues will be resolved in case the couple decides to part ways. A postnuptial agreement can address the same issues, but it is created after the wedding takes place. For those who may have not preplanned, a postnup can give them peace of mind in case of a breakup.  

Reasons for Creating a Postnup

There may be various reasons why a couple wishes to make a postnuptial agreement. They may want to document their wishes so they are known in case something happens to either of them. Three major factors that could lead to the creation of a postnup may be because a couple:

• Did not have time before the wedding to create a prenuptial agreement
• Are estranged but willing to work on the marriage
• Want to change/amend an existing prenuptial agreement

Items You Can Include in a Postnup

Postnuptial agreements are governed by the Illinois Marriage and Dissolution of Marriage Act in Illinois. Pre- and postnuptial agreements aim to preserve existing marriages by eliminating potential disputes, but they also protect each spouse’s best interest in the event of a divorce or separation. A few of the main topics that are covered in a postnuptial agreement include but are not limited to:

Studies have shown that a child thrives when he or she has a healthy relationship with both parents, regardless of the relationship between the adults. A mother and a father play different roles in the psychological development of a child. However, in some cases, the father’s identity may be in question for various reasons. For example, the mother might not have been married at the time she gave birth, and she may have had multiple romantic partners. 

Paternity refers to the legal relationship between a father and his biological child, which involves the rights and obligations of both the father and the child to each other. Even if both parents do not remain romantically involved, they can still work together for the best interest of their child by providing financial and emotional support. Establishing paternity is also important for protecting each parent’s rights.  

The Process of Establishing Paternity 

If a child's mother is or was married when the child was born or within 300 days prior to the child’s birth, the person the mother was married to (or in a civil union) at that time is presumed to be the child’s second parent. If the mother was married to a man, the man is presumed to be the child’s father.